Shit, guys. It's been forever. A year, I think. Little things have changed, I guess.
First of all, all that "I'm in love," stuff was total bullshit. I honestly don't know what I was thinking.
My YouTube account isn't something I would call active. I'm only on it to listen to music, I never upload anymore.
I'm finally going into High School. I'm a little bit nervous because the design of the school is pretty confusing. I'm probably going to get lost a lot, LOL. I'm also not looking forward to being a freshman because I heard that the older kids give you false directions so you're late for class or some shit. I have plenty goals for ninth grade, though. I want to make new friends because a lot of the friends I have aren't that great, to be completely honest. Besides my homeroom buddies, I love them(: I also want to find a boyfriend, since I've been hooked on this same guy for almost three years now. I had four opportunities to be in a relationship during eighth grade, but I turned them all down. I really need to pick myself up this year, too. I was so close to failing the eighth grade . . . I slacked off way too much. I CANNOT do that this year. High School is important, I'm not a little kid anymore. I'm also going to try to stay as confident as I can. I wasn't confident in myself in Middle School. You see, I'm pretty different from the girls around here. The majority of these girls are, well, fake. They try way too hard. But anyways, like I said, I'm different. I was always so insecure because I compared myself to those girls often, and it was a problem. A lot of stuff was going on, and the fact that I was insecure contributed to that. I had heard a lot about self harm around that time and I kept thinking and thinking about it until it was done. It became a habit, and happened again and again. Now I'm in therapy, and haven't done it in months. Since school ended, my confidence has been returning slowly. I want to stay confident in High School, and that's what I'ma do >:3
Friday, July 6, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Wow! It's been a while!
I totally forgot about this! Let me fill you guys in, why don't I?
I seem to RP less and less lately. I don't see much fun in it anymore, not like I used to . . . //shrug
I'm in love. The two of us seem to keep going up and down. Things work out, and then we recieve a wake-up-call. Know what I mean? Though, currently we're fine. ♥
Kiara almost never crosses my mind anymore!(:
I've recently become obsessed with the band "Smile Empty Soul."
I'm currently in the middle of the "Butterfly Project," and I'm doing fantastic!
I can't really think of anything else to say > 3 >
I seem to RP less and less lately. I don't see much fun in it anymore, not like I used to . . . //shrug
I'm in love. The two of us seem to keep going up and down. Things work out, and then we recieve a wake-up-call. Know what I mean? Though, currently we're fine. ♥
Kiara almost never crosses my mind anymore!(:
I've recently become obsessed with the band "Smile Empty Soul."
I'm currently in the middle of the "Butterfly Project," and I'm doing fantastic!
I can't really think of anything else to say > 3 >
Thursday, July 14, 2011
I don't know . . . anymore.
Alright, Kiara, I don't know if you'll ever see this. Most likely not. But maybe there's a possibility that you sometimes look at my pages, too?
Let me just say, you've changed. The Kiara you used to be has been buried and let me just say, I don't know whether or not she'll ever be able to breathe again; or even if she's still there. My examples? Alright, yes, I look at your facebook page occasionally and I saw that one picture of you in a skirt. I mean, back when you, Cheyenne, and I were friends it was barely a possibility that you'd ever be wearing a skirt. The Kiara I knew wouldn't be caught dead wearing a skirt. And Cheyenne says you carry around a purse. Well, there could possibly be a reason for that (you know what), but Kiara, and I mean real Kiara, would just keep that stuff in her backpack, not carry around a purse. Cheyenne sees that you've changed, and apparently so have other people.
It just boggles my mind how you could go from being my best friend to my enemy so quickly. How "I love you," could turn into "I hate you," so quickly. We used to be best friends. Does that mean anything to you, Kiara? Does it? And how you could torture Cheyenne like that and not feel anything? Any guilt? How could you? How could you pull the "I guess it doesn't matter how long you've known someone," card on us? First of all, I've known Macy since first grade and Cheyenne's known her since second. But, think about it. You met me in third grade, and actually, Cheyenne in third,too (remember when I introduced you guys during that field trip?). When did you meet Brenlie? When did you meet Kyleigh? We're in eighth grade now, Kiara. That's six years you've known us. And what, like two years since you've known Kyliegh and Brenlie? You met them in like sixth grade.
I'll be honest, I miss you. But, not who you are now. I miss the Kiara I knew, the Kiara you now suffocate. Do you think of us and miss us like we do you? Deep down inside you know that what happened wasn't right. You know that choosing them over your best friends wasn't right. Or at least I hope so. I tried, after all of that happened, to tell myself, "I don't need her," and truth be told, I don't need you. But I miss you. I don't know, I think if we work this out the right way I'd feel normal again. Since we all split, I haven't felt the same. I feel like a part of me is missing. Ever since I split my first best friend(remember her?). That part of me is my best friends . . . you and the others . . . if you even remember them now.
Don't you remember? It was you, me, Cheyenne, Katie, and Jasmine. Those good times.
First Jasmine drifted away. Then we lost Katie. Then I lost you. Cheyenne and I were the only ones who held on to everything. You guys just forgot. Jasmine wasn't really a part of the circle after third, though. Then it was just the four of us.
When Cheyenne's little sister went to Citizens, we had to go and pick her up occasionally. I hated it. I used to look at that playground and remember all those years there. Thrid grade, the best one was fourth grade, and then fifth. I used to look at that corner of the playground and remember how we always sat there and laughed together. We all loved eachother. We were complete. I'll be honest, I'd give almost anything to go back and relive those years, at least once. Especially forth grade. But know we're almost in High School and that all changed.
Oh well, Kiara. Live your life being the new you.
You know I still love you. The real you. Always know that.
Let me just say, you've changed. The Kiara you used to be has been buried and let me just say, I don't know whether or not she'll ever be able to breathe again; or even if she's still there. My examples? Alright, yes, I look at your facebook page occasionally and I saw that one picture of you in a skirt. I mean, back when you, Cheyenne, and I were friends it was barely a possibility that you'd ever be wearing a skirt. The Kiara I knew wouldn't be caught dead wearing a skirt. And Cheyenne says you carry around a purse. Well, there could possibly be a reason for that (you know what), but Kiara, and I mean real Kiara, would just keep that stuff in her backpack, not carry around a purse. Cheyenne sees that you've changed, and apparently so have other people.
It just boggles my mind how you could go from being my best friend to my enemy so quickly. How "I love you," could turn into "I hate you," so quickly. We used to be best friends. Does that mean anything to you, Kiara? Does it? And how you could torture Cheyenne like that and not feel anything? Any guilt? How could you? How could you pull the "I guess it doesn't matter how long you've known someone," card on us? First of all, I've known Macy since first grade and Cheyenne's known her since second. But, think about it. You met me in third grade, and actually, Cheyenne in third,too (remember when I introduced you guys during that field trip?). When did you meet Brenlie? When did you meet Kyleigh? We're in eighth grade now, Kiara. That's six years you've known us. And what, like two years since you've known Kyliegh and Brenlie? You met them in like sixth grade.
I'll be honest, I miss you. But, not who you are now. I miss the Kiara I knew, the Kiara you now suffocate. Do you think of us and miss us like we do you? Deep down inside you know that what happened wasn't right. You know that choosing them over your best friends wasn't right. Or at least I hope so. I tried, after all of that happened, to tell myself, "I don't need her," and truth be told, I don't need you. But I miss you. I don't know, I think if we work this out the right way I'd feel normal again. Since we all split, I haven't felt the same. I feel like a part of me is missing. Ever since I split my first best friend(remember her?). That part of me is my best friends . . . you and the others . . . if you even remember them now.
Don't you remember? It was you, me, Cheyenne, Katie, and Jasmine. Those good times.
First Jasmine drifted away. Then we lost Katie. Then I lost you. Cheyenne and I were the only ones who held on to everything. You guys just forgot. Jasmine wasn't really a part of the circle after third, though. Then it was just the four of us.
When Cheyenne's little sister went to Citizens, we had to go and pick her up occasionally. I hated it. I used to look at that playground and remember all those years there. Thrid grade, the best one was fourth grade, and then fifth. I used to look at that corner of the playground and remember how we always sat there and laughed together. We all loved eachother. We were complete. I'll be honest, I'd give almost anything to go back and relive those years, at least once. Especially forth grade. But know we're almost in High School and that all changed.
Oh well, Kiara. Live your life being the new you.
You know I still love you. The real you. Always know that.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
New picture ! :O
Yeah, I got a new icon. Of HATSUNE MIKU! (:
So . . . it's been what, three months since I've posted here? Guess I got pretty lazy! Lemme fill you in. First thing I'd like to say is I've developed an obsession with VOCALOID. Love it so much! ♥
Been RPing less and less lately, sadly. My mother is getting married. However, I think she's just rushing into it. She got a tattoo on her wrist and I'm very disappointed in her because all my life she convinced me that tattoos were bad and never to get one. She told me she'd never get one either. Can you not see why I am upset? Oh well.
iloveyou. ♥
So . . . it's been what, three months since I've posted here? Guess I got pretty lazy! Lemme fill you in. First thing I'd like to say is I've developed an obsession with VOCALOID. Love it so much! ♥
Been RPing less and less lately, sadly. My mother is getting married. However, I think she's just rushing into it. She got a tattoo on her wrist and I'm very disappointed in her because all my life she convinced me that tattoos were bad and never to get one. She told me she'd never get one either. Can you not see why I am upset? Oh well.
iloveyou. ♥
Thursday, May 12, 2011
my eyes just puked . . .
I saw Brenlie so I puked out of my eyeballs!
Brenlie's a biotch, she needs to go away.
Brenlie's a biotch, she needs to go away.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
eww . ):
so. this morning we stopped by the store before school and this guy was walking near CVS. he opened like a trash thingy and TOOK. OUT. AN. OLD. CIGARETTE. EWW ): Then i think he smoked it after .. O<O
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